Dibs on the Top Hat

Last week, the makers of Monopoly announced that they would be changing up the game pieces, replacing the iconic iron with a new, totally 2013 cat piece. The decision was left completely up to Facebook fans of the game who voted overwhelmingly voted for the cat over the other options – a robot, diamond ring, helicopter, and guitar.

Now, I am not a cat person. In fact, I am terrified of cats. There is a cat living in my apartment with whom I share a very estranged relationship – occassionaly, we will glance in each other’s direction, sometimes I will place a piece of chicken on the floor for her to eat if she meows at me really loudly while I’m cooking chicken, but we never share a couch and I lock my bedroom door at night so she can’t get  in because I have an irrational fear that she will steal my soul while I sleep. (Please, don’t judge.)

(not the actual cat from my apartment)

But lately I’ve been feeling like the internet WANTS me and every woman in the entire world to be a cat person. There’s no shortage of cat memes, from cats quoting Pablo Neruda to cats haz-ing things to really angry looking cats hating everything, and everyone is expected to love this. And ok, maybe I love an angry looking cat snarkily judging people from my computer screen but that cat doesn’t represent my life, right?

Or does it? The original Monopoly pieces were based on charms that would likely be found on a charm bracelet – representations of what life was like for the wearer. A wheelbarrow, a battleship, a racecar, a thimble, a boot, a scottie dog, a top hat, an iron… every day life in the 1940′s and 50′s, complete with gender expectations and dreams.

And those Monopoly piece options for today kind of sort of seem to represent every day live in 2013, huh? Robots because everything is run by computers now, a guitar because becoming a music sensation has become the new bootstrap myth, a helicopter and a diamond ring because we live in an increasingly consumer-driven society, and finally a cat because… the internet rules our lives?

Or is it because we had to replace that feminine token of an iron with another feminine token – the cat?

I know I’m overreacting. But sometimes its fun to overreact.

Meanwhile, I have dibs on the top hat. Don’t forget.

What’s your token of choice? If you had to create a Monopoly game piece for yourself, what would it be?

Resolution Remix

Happy 2013, lovers!

I hope everyone had a joyful New Year’s Eve and enjoyed some time of rest before jumping into the new year. As for me, I’ve been resting and recharging my batteries for the past few weeks, soaking up some intensely appreciated vacation time and cherishing just how rad my family and friends are. (Except for Bernice. Good riddance.)

Anyway, during this time of rest, I noticed that a whole hell of a lot of people are still doing that whole New Year’s Resolutions thing and telling the world (read: facebook) about their resolutions. Most of the resolutions I saw were things like “I’m going to get my butt to the gym in 2013!” or “Cutting out junk food for the new year!” and… I dunno… that just seems kind of uninspired to me.

So I’m proposing a new New Years Resolution tradition: Resolution Remix: 12 Good Deeds. Or something. I’ll come up with a prettier name later.

Here’s the deal with this brand new tradition – instead of resolving to do something to better yourself, resolve to do 12 little somethings (one a month) for other people.

Why? Because:

1.) Your old resolution is weak. You know as well as I do that you will stop eating junk food until February 13th when your special someone or your stalker gifts you a gorgeous box of Godiva chocolate.

2.) Your old resolution just helps you. And as much as people pretend to be excited that you’re going to lower your sodium intake, they really don’t care. They’re just thinking how to get rid of the chips and salsa they brought to your Super Bowl party.

3.) Doing something nice for other people feels WAY better than anything. Ever.

4.) A monthly self-acknowledgment of that one nice thing you did for something else will keep your spirits up throughout the year AND will probably confirm that you do a bunch of nice things for others.

5.) You’ll feel better about yourself in a way that no old resolution could make you feel. Because losing weight or quitting smoking or cutting out the cussing are great but telling yourself that you’re a good person… that’s a pretty great gift to give yourself.

So, folks, what do you think? Will you join me? Do you have an even more spectacular resolution? What is it?

Baby you can drive my car...

Reblogged from feministlawprof:

• 

My very first car was a Volvo. But before you send Muffy and Buffy over to play tennis, you should probably know that the car had the same date of birth as I did.

I lovingly plastered bumper stickers all over the back of that car that expressed my personality. I had a peace sign, an ACK sticker, and the Sublime sun.

Read more… 830 more words

A federal judge in North Carolina ruled Pro-Life license plates unconstitutional on Friday, holding that Pro-Life plates violate the First Amendment. But that's not the end of the argument. Check out my blog post from this summer explaining the issue.

Hugs for Everyone!

Hello lovers,

I just wanted to take a minute to say THANK YOU for all of your kind words, thoughtful responses, and for sharing your own stories with me. I was apprehensive when I Make it Rain was selected for Freshly Pressed – scared that the feedback would be overwhelmingly critical or that it would incite anger from parties on either side of the abortion debate.

I’ll admit, I was overwhelmed. But not by criticism or vitriolic messages – by all of your carefully crafted responses. Regardless of where people stand on the issue, everyone has made such thoughtful points and I am truly appreciative.

For those of you wondering, I have not had to filter out a single comment. Everyone who has taken the time to respond has been respectful. And that might be the very best part of this whole thing.

So, thank you for reading and subscribing. I’m excited to continue our awesome dialogue and can’t wait to hear more from you. Hugs for everyone!

 

Related articles

• I Make it Rain (Mostly on Abortion Access Non-Profits) (feministlawprof.wordpress.com)

Turkey Day Survival Tips

Thanksgiving is upon us. For many of you, that means houses full of extended family members, turkey roasting in the oven, football on tv, and the inevitable turn of dinner table conversations to touchy subjects.

There’s something about Thanksgiving that compels most families to dredge up the dreaded “do not touch” subjects around the dinner table – from politics, to religion, to personal life choices – and hash them out over copious amounts of mashed potatoes and green bean casserole.

Luckily, I’m here to help.

You see, my family has perfected the dinner table conversation safety zone. We deftly manuever around political conversations, discussion of any personal life choices, and any touchy media subject with aplomb. Why? Because we are freakin’ hilarious.

And that hilarity is the key to surviving the holidays.

Your family might be the absolute best but any time you get a whole bunch of people together in one room, throw in the stress of preparing more food than anyone will ever eat, and force people to sit across from each other for HOURS at a time, there’s bound to be some tension. (I’m fairly positive the tension stems from the complete breakdown of social norms – when else is it appropriate to eat 4,500 calories in one sitting?)

Keeping the holidays funny is a carefully cultivated skill, but here are a few time-tested tips:

Really Bad Jokes

I’m talking “How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.” style. “Knock-knock, who’s the- INTERRUPTING COW”. Throw these out whenever there’s an awkward silence, a question that makes someone uncomfortable, or when everyone starts questioning just how many glasses of wine you’ve had.

YouTube

Bring out your laptop or tablet or phone or whatever device you use to access the internet and just start sharing your favorite safely funny youtube videos. Family friendly gems include: Teddy the Porcupine doesn’t like to share his corn on the cob, this adorable baby who makes an angry face on command, Mudd the bulldog happily jumping on a trampoline.

“Inside” Jokes

Create an inside joke that everyone is in on but no one really understands. In my family, we have several. For example, we fairly frequently discuss the grocery chain Wegman’s and then laugh and laugh about it. Oh ho ho! Wegman’s again! It’s not actually funny that we’re discussing Wegman’s but it has become SIDE-SPLITTINGLY FUNNY that we’re still laughing about it. Nonsense, right? I recommend that you do the same. Find something completely banal and make it into a running joke. It really creates camaraderie.

Self-Deprecating Humor.

The conversation has shifted to a dangerous place where your bad jokes, youtube videos, AND a reminder of that hilarious inside joke won’t distract conversationalists from a touchy subject? Pull out the big guns. Remind everyone of that time you thought the word “archive” was pronounced with a ch. Like chives. Or regale them with the tale of the time you freaked out at a haunted house and cried like a baby so you wouldn’t have to go in despite being a fully functional adult. People will be distracted by their desire to make fun of you and will forget that just a moment ago they were demanding to know exactly when you will be having children.

These tips will help you deftly navigate most conversational traps at a family gathering, but they are all premised on one big assumption – that you chose to be at that family event.

See, the thing is that even though you’re related by blood to people, you don’t actually have to see them or even stay in touch with them. So if they’re really crappy people, then don’t go.

You’re always welcome at my family gathering, but BYOB – our humor might be lost on the sober.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

On November 28, 1998, Rita Hester was murdered.

She was stabbed over 20 times in the chest in her own apartment.

Her murder remains unsolved.

—

Today marks the 13th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, sparked by outrage over Rita’s murder and a desire to bring attention to the violence faced by members of the trans community, previously overlooked by the media and law enforcement officials.

Sadly, Rita’s murder is one of hundreds of crimes of violence against transgender people that occur each year – one of many murders of trans folk that remain unsolved, one of many cases not charged as a hate crimes, and one of many stories cut short.

Last November, An Act Relative to Gender Identity passed in the House and Senate in Massachusetts – extending civil rights and hate crimes protections to the state’s transgender residents in areas of employment, housing, credit/lending, and public education and updating Massachusetts’s hate crimes laws to include gender identity.

The passing of comprehensive hate crime legislation is a step in the right direction – but it’s just a step. So this November, we remember those we have lost to senseless violence in the past year during the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Events begin tonight, November 15, 2012 and extend through the week. For Massachusetts event info, please visit MassTPC’s website.

Related articles

• GLAAD & MTPC Release New Vids in “I AM: Trans People Speak” Series (lezgetreal.com)

If This Was a Movie (My breakup with Taylor Swift would happen in slo-mo)

Our Song (song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey, T-Swift,

We’ve had our ups and downs - like when I got stuck on the last T home with every single one of your fans leaving your concert and they sang “Our Song” at the top of their lungs and I cursed your name? Or that time when I was twenty-seven years old and cry/sang “White Horse” while thinking about my poor relationship choices and you just really helped me get through a tough time?

But this is it. We’re done now.

I can no longer stand idly by and watch you, with your bubble-gum pop brand, tell a generation of little girls who look up to you that feminism is something bad.

So this is our breakup song. Sing it to your tune but please, use my lyrics.

I remember when we broke up the first time.

I said “This is it, I’ve had enough” cuz like

Your sound bites always got me gruff

And you said you weren’t a feminist (what?)

Then you come around again and sang

“Baby, I miss you and I swear this song is great, trust me.”

Remember how that lasted for a day?

You say you’re weak, I judge you, you release Red… I love it.

Oo-oo-ooh I called it off again last night

Cuz oo-oo-ooh this time I’m telling you, I’m telling you

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You go talk to Bazaar, talk to Ellen, talk to me

But we are never ever ever getting back together.

I mean, I’m really gonna miss Teardrops on My Guitar

And little girls thinking you’re a star

But you keep spouting off misogyny, uh what?

And its irresponsible, just stop.

Oo-oo-ooh, you have such catchy songs

But oo-oo-ooh, this time I’m telling you, I’m telling you.

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You go talk to Bazaar, talk to Ellen, talk to me

But we are never ever ever getting back together.

I used to think that you were a great role model

And I used to say “oh, that taylor swift…”

But, you’re talking to the magazines and you’re like “he should wear the pants”

And I’m like “I just, I mean this is exhausting, you know like… stop putting yourself and other women down. For real.”

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You go talk to Bazaar, talk to Ellen, talk to me

But we are never ever ever getting back together.

Related articles

• Taylor Swift Shocker: I Like A Man To Take Control In A Relationship (hollywoodlife.com)

(S)he’s so lucky, (s)he’s a star…

In Massachusetts, we’re watching the race for US Senate unfold as Republican Senator Scott Brown and Democratic hopeful Professor Elizabeth Warren battle for the seat. I’ve been really caught up in the presidential election and will admit to not having enough information about either candidate to pass judgment.

If you’re in the same boat as me, I have a solution to fix it! Last night the two candidates squared off in their first live debate. I’ll be watching and catching up on the race today so, if you’re interested, check out video of the debate here. Interestingly, polls today suggest that the candidates remain evenly tied.

In the interim, without offering an opinion either way, the only thing I can say with certainty is that we are lucky here in Massachusetts to have two candidates willing to fight for women’s rights. Rock on Scott and Liz.

Today in History…

One year ago today, the repeal of Don’t As, Don’t Tell was enacted. In his remarks on September 20, 2011, President Obama fiercly took down the discriminatory law preventing homosexuals from openly serving in the US military, stating “As of today, patriotic Americans in uniform will no longer have to lie about who they are in order to serve the country they love. As of today, our armed forces will no longer lose the extraordinary skills and combat experience of so many gay and lesbian service members. And today, I want those who were discharged under this law to know that your country deeply values your service.”

For many, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was a discriminatory policy that existed in the background of military service. Gay and lesbian servicemembers quietly served their country fearing exposure and discharge. But for law buffs, DADT’s brief and complicated history highlights many of the civil rights violations facing members of the LGBT community.

You see, in 1950 President Truman signed the Uniform Code of Military Justice which established discharge rules for openly homosexual service members. Under these rules, service members who were openly homosexual could be discharged under Section VIII of the Code which provided discharge for “ineptness or undesirable habits or traits of character.” Up until 1973, homosexuality was considered a psychiatric disorder by the American Psychological Assoication, the American Psychiatric Association, and the American Public Health Administration. Accordingly, discharging a service member for homosexuality was akin to discharging a service member for bipolar disorder.

In 1973, the APA formally removed homosexuality from its list of psychiatric disorders; however, the military continued to discharge service members for standard unfitness and unsuitability reasons. There were exceptions to this rule, like retention, so higher ups had discretion to keep openly homosexual service members in their ranks.

During this same time, service members began challenging the constitutionality of the military regulations. The cases were heard at the appellate court level and in some cases, the court held that the government did a pretty shitty job of proving that gay and lesbian service members and civil servants weren’t good employees and therefore shouldn’t have been discharged or fired. In other cases, the court noted that the military could discharge gays and lesbians, but that individual service men and women had a right to be judged on their individual merits, not just blanketly fired for being gay.

Despite the challenges, these rules remained on the books until 1982 when President Reagan set out a defense directive that stated that homosexuality is incompatible with military service and established that persons who engaged in homosexual acts or even stated that they were homosexual or bisexual would be discharged. Reagan’s directive sent the message that even identifying as homosexual would be grounds for discharge. (Which is… RIDICULOUS.)

Then in 1992, presidential hopeful Bill Clinton promises to lift the ban on gays and lesbians serving in the military. And despite my deep, abiding love for Bill, he is a master at wordplay and only kinda sorta lifted the ban. In 1993, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is introduced as a compromise – lifting the ban on service while silencing those who serve. Congress attempts to get the military to continue to abide by Reagan’s defense directive and Clinton issues a defense directive that military applicants can not be asked about their sexual orientation. And this give us DADT.

Maybe Clinton’s solution was better than the blanket discharge for even identity politics directed by Reagan, but DADT was a craptastic rule. More than 14,000 service members were fired under DADT from 1993 to 2011. In fact, in 2003, the military discharged more than 750 mission-critical service members and more than 320 with skills in important langauges like Arabic, Korean, and Farsi as a result of Reagan’s directive and DADT.

On top of how shitty the regulation was, it was also super inconsistent. On the civilian side of the CIA, FBI, State Department, and the Department of Defense there are no regulations banning homosexuals from employment and there are laws preventing discrimination.

Partly because of glaring inconsistencies, partly because of basic civil rights, and partly because multiple courts challenged the validity of DADT and Reagan’s directive, President Obama repealed DADT on July 22, 2011 with the formal end date of September 20, 2011.

And the world didn’t end. And the military didn’t falter.

And this awesomeness happened.

Related articles

• The Anniversary of the End of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ (towleroad.com)

Basic Human Rights – They Do Exist.

I really don’t want to hate on Romney.

I really don’t want this to become a political blog.

But, as they say “the personal is political” and Romney’s most recent 47% statement really felt like a gut punch.

If you haven’t already heard, Mother Jones released video of Romney’s statement to donors during a private fundraiser where he said:

“There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax. My job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”

Ugh. Ugh. Ughhh. So gross.

AND SO WRONG.

Let’s start with this “entitlement” bullshit. Did you know that many entitlements are constitutionally protected under the Due Process Clause? Under the DPC “life, liberty, or property” cannot be taken away from a US citizen without due process of the law. In the 1970′s, the Supreme Court told us that if the state created a relationship or expectation of continuation for something (like a tenure contract at a state university or welfare benefits), then citizens can keep that “entitlement” unless and until there was some really good reason to take them away AND procedural due process was had.

So that means that YES, those people who are on government benefits are ENTITLED to them. And under the Constitution, you can’t take away those entitlements without due process.

And what about these “entitlements” Romney references? Health care, food, and housing. God, I can’t believe people would even want these so-called entitlements. I mean, I can survive just fine when I’m starving, dying of TB, and living under the Tobin Bridge. That’s just me, though.

I think most people would agree that these entitlements sound like basic human rights. You know why? Because they are. Under the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, these rights are protected.

Just take a look at Article 25:

Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health  and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing  and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the   event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of   livelihood in circumstances beyond his control. 

See that? Health care, food, shelter. Basic. Human. Rights. Laid out in the Declaration of Human Rights.

No matter how you look at it – whether under US law or UN Declarations - every citizen should have these basic rights. So stop flapping your gums, Romney.

And you know what? I just can’t hold back. It’s coming up, like word vomit. Blech, here it is: DIDNT YOU GO TO HARVARD FOR A LAW DEGREE AND A BUSINESS DEGREE? BECAUSE MY UNDERGRAD STUDENTS LEARN ABOUT THE DUE PROCESS CLAUSE ON DAY 1 OF CLASSES. DAY 1. I think they’re also better at math than you. Because even though I can’t add 2+2, I am pretty sure your use of 47% throughout that statement makes no sense. All the people who won’t vote for you don’t pay income taxes? That can’t be true – I know a bunch of unemployed people who HAVE INCOME TAXES TAKEN OUT OF THEIR UNEMPLOYMENT. Ya turd.